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The Book of No
by Susan Newman
Product Group: Book
Publisher: McGraw-Hill (2005-11-15)
ISBN: 0071460780
EAN: 9780071460781
Dewy Decimal #: 158.2
Paperback: 224 pages
Edition: 1
SKU: 07100091
Condition: New As issued no jac
Comments: New book. Trade paperback with no marks or creases. Appears unread. Beautiful book.
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Editorial Reviews
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Product Description
A leading psychologist teaches you how to wield the power of "no" and banish the disease to please forever. The Book of No teaches you how to say "no" to just about anybody--and everybody--friends, family, bosses, and co-workers--without starting your guiltmeter running. Insights and tips help you understand why you have trouble saying "no" and move beyond what ranges from mildly annoying to a crippling inability. It inoculates you against the "Yes"-disease and offers the courage to refuse and the knowledge and know-how to remain steadfast in that decision in the face of another person's power, influence, bullying, or disappointment--whether real or perceived.
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Customer Reviews
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An essential life skill
Rating  (5)
Date: 2008-05-06
The Book of No
As a psychotherapist, I'm continually helping bolster people who have trouble saying 'no.' It's an essential life skill, because if you can't say 'no' when you need to, then your 'yes' is meaningless, and will result in resentment that leaks out in passive/aggressive ways.
Susan Newman's book is a great resource for my clients. It's a reference book for how to say 'no' in a variety of situations and circumstances. Having a script for how to say no encourages people to try it, and they then learn by doing.
A very helpful aid to the refusal-impaired.
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diappointing
Rating  (1)
Date: 2008-04-29
well, it's simple, a big big disappointment, the book should've been called "The book of excuses" or "excuses for dummies"
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The Book is flawed
Rating  (2)
Date: 2008-03-05
1 out of 2 customers found this reveiw helpful
While I feel that this book does a good job of giving scenarios where people wheedle you into situations that you may not want to accept, I feel that some of the responses are rude. Every situation in the book deserves a no, but the way that the "no" sentences are framed could, at times, be much better.
For example, on page 84, the scenario is the following: "Your brothers asks, 'Can you keep the children busy this afternoon so I can put the final touches on the new playroom? It's almost done.'" The author's recommended response is, "Give me a break. I need the afternoon to myself." I think that this could be considered potentially rude to the brother. I would respond in a light hearted fashion and say, "Nice try, bro! But David and I are going to the movies this afternoon; I can't do it." Or even, "I need a break from work, and as much as I love your children, babysitting them this afternoon won't give me the break that I need. I wish I could help, but I can't."
Anyway, perhaps the author means a lot of these responses in a lighter way; if that's so, then I think that she should indicate the tone that they should be said in. Tone and body language often say so much more than words.
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Saying yes to saying no
Rating (5)
Date: 2007-10-08
1 out of 1 customers found this reveiw helpful
If you regularly find yourself saying "Yes" to others when you really want to be saying "No, no, no!" The Book of No may be just what you need. The theme at the heart of this book is the eye-opening truth of "When you say yes continually to others, you say no to yourself."
After shedding some light on why it can be so easy to fall into the yes-trap, Susan helps light the way to the path of saying no. In addition to providing 250 instructive and entertaining just-say-no scenarios, Susan's book is packed with hard-hitting insights including: "Each time you agree when you don't want to, you give up a piece of yourself" and "No is the cornerstone of self-respect and your gateway to being able to concentrate on what makes you feel better and more in command of your life."
The Book of No is certainly a read worth saying yes to!
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Stop being a victim of your own kindness
Rating  (3)
Date: 2007-08-13
3 out of 3 customers found this reveiw helpful
We're raised to be agreeable. We're taught to be kind. We feel like helping out and doing favors makes us better people, more likable in the eyes of others... and more importantly, we fear that saying "no" will make us disagreeable and unlikable to others. We're wrong.
As the author points out, our fear of being disagreeable is often far worse than the actual reaction we get. When someone hears no, they often move on quickly to ask the next person, and our refusal is quickly forgotten. And what's more, by saying no we get back time for ourselves to do the things WE want to do, rather than spending our lives always doing what others want to do. It's important that we all learn to master this skill.
The book didn't get into much depth on the problem nor its causes, but it makes up for that in offering ways to fix it -- an area where many self-help books fall short. I was disappointed in the way this book was blatantly skewed toward a female perspective, as if this problem didn't exist for men or they are not worthy of being given a solution to it. It seems to me as if the author blames men for her "people-pleasing" ways.
Even though I had to use my imagination at times in order to apply the advice to myself, I was able to get something useful from reading this book. I will, however, keep looking for a more comprehensive and non-gender-biased book on this topic.
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